PRETORIA — Relations between South Africa and the United States have deteriorated after the American ambassador reportedly threatened sanctions unless DIRCO stops serving Ricoffy at official meetings.
The dispute began when the ambassador was summoned to Pretoria and offered lukewarm Ricoffy, three sachets of Cremora and unidentified biscuits.
Washington described the incident as a serious breach of diplomatic protocol and is investigating whether it violates protocol.
‘Ricoffy is part of our diplomatic heritage,’ explained a DIRCO spokesperson. ‘We’ve served it at difficult negotiations for decades, some of which are still ongoing.’
The ANC accused Washington of imposing Western coffee standards on the Global South.
‘First they wanted to dictate our foreign policy. Now they want to dictate what we drink.’
American officials expressed further concern upon discovering Cremora contains no cream.
‘If we can’t trust them about their coffee,’ one official asked, ‘how can we trust them about Iran, Russia or China?’
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The Hadeda Heckler is a South African satirical news website. Some stories are invented, others are exaggerated and a few are disturbingly close to the truth. Any resemblance to actual government competence or the stupidity of the average man or woman is purely coincidental.
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