JOHANNESBURG — The City of Johannesburg has appealed to private investors to rebuild its inner city, assuring them that the municipality has completed the difficult work of allowing everything to fall apart.
Projects include redeveloping the Noord taxi rank, upgrading Constitutional Hill and completing a long-delayed rehabilitation facility.
‘For years, we’ve created ideal investment conditions by withdrawing maintenance, allowing infrastructure to deteriorate and making basic services unpredictable,’ explained a city official. ‘That groundwork is now complete.’
Investors will be expected to restore buildings, repair infrastructure and provide services older residents vaguely remember as ‘municipal services’.
Officials insist Johannesburg is not outsourcing municipal government.
‘We’re simply asking businesses to provide the money, infrastructure, maintenance and expertise.’
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The Hadeda Heckler is a South African satirical news website. Some stories are invented, others are exaggerated and a few are disturbingly close to the truth. Any resemblance to actual government competence or the stupidity of the average man or woman is purely coincidental.
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