Author: tielmann

PRETORIA — The ANC has hailed South Africa’s impending exclusion from the US African Growth and Opportunity Act (AGOA) as a historic victory for sovereignty, revolutionary solidarity and the continuing struggle against imperialism. The announcement follows Washington’s decision to terminate South Africa’s preferential trade access from January 2027. ‘This is a decisive victory against Western imperialism,’ declared a party spokesperson. ‘The liberation movement has never allowed economic consequences to interfere with its revolutionary principles.’ Party officials dismissed concerns about threatened jobs and declining exports, insisting that unemployment was a small price to pay for ideological independence. ‘Our people did not…

JOHANNESBURG — A new study has found that South African drivers are far more likely to stop for fast food than for someone broken down on the side of the road. Researchers watched drivers sail past people waving beside dead cars. The same drivers would then cross three lanes of traffic to queue twenty minutes for fried chicken. The study comes a week after Rachel Kolisi ran out of petrol in peak-hour traffic. Dozens of cars passed her. The only person who stopped was a Woolworths Dash rider on a motorbike. ‘Motorists respond far better to a KFC sign than…