NORTH WEST — The ANC has reportedly discovered that serving voters pap is considerably cheaper than providing water, electricity, functioning roads and refuse collection.
The breakthrough followed a video showing Ngaka Modiri Molema District Municipality mayor Khumalo Molefe cooking pap in ANC regalia ahead of the local government elections.
Molefe denied cooking for voters, insisting the food was intended for party volunteers.
Nevertheless, officials were impressed by the economics.
‘A road takes years to repair,’ explained a ANC strategist. ‘Pap is ready before the campaign rally starts.’
The new model, Pap Delivery, promises to simplify municipal responsibilities.
Burst pipe? Pap.
Pothole? Pap.
No electricity? Pap with gravy, provided the ward is competitive.
Engineers and town planners could eventually be replaced by three large pots, wooden spoons and somebody’s aunt.
The biggest challenge remains electricity, without which cooking pap becomes difficult.
Fortunately, municipalities have extensive experience working around that problem.
Author
The Hadeda Heckler is a South African satirical news website. Some stories are invented, others are exaggerated and a few are disturbingly close to the truth. Any resemblance to actual government competence or the stupidity of the average man or woman is purely coincidental.
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