PRETORIA — The government has unveiled a new strategy to help South Africans cope with rising fuel prices, encouraging motorists to expand their social circles and share lifts with friends.
Officials say the initiative offers immediate financial relief without requiring adjustments to fuel taxes or government expenditure.
‘The average South African has hundreds of Facebook friends but drives to work alone,’ explained a government spokesperson. ‘It’s time to turn those friendships into meaningful economic partnerships.’
The department recommends that motorists make at least four new friends who live nearby and work in approximately the same direction.
Single people are encouraged to consider dating colleagues, while married couples could explore friendships with neighbours who own fuel-efficient vehicles.
Officials acknowledged that collecting multiple passengers could increase travel distances but insisted that stronger social connections justified the additional petrol.
The government has dismissed calls for further fuel price intervention, arguing that South Africans must take greater responsibility for their transport costs.
‘We cannot keep reducing taxes simply because people refuse to make friends.’
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The Hadeda Heckler is a South African satirical news website. Some stories are invented, others are exaggerated and a few are disturbingly close to the truth. Any resemblance to actual government competence or the stupidity of the average man or woman is purely coincidental.
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