Complete Lunatic Chooses Salad Over Chips at Spur

JOHANNESBURG — Staff and diners at a Johannesburg Spur were left reeling on Saturday after a middle-aged man ordered a burger with a side salad instead of chips, raising serious questions about his mental state and his grasp of why people go to the Spur.

Shortly after 1pm, the man, thought to be in his early fifties, calmly told his waiter he would have the garden salad.

“I thought I’d misheard him,” said the waiter, still visibly shaken, who has worked at the restaurant for seven years. “I asked, chips or onion rings? He said salad. Just like that. No explanation. No doctor’s note. Nothing.”

The waiter repeated the order back three times before fetching the manager.

“We get difficult customers all the time,” the manager said. “People who want their steak well done, people who want tomato sauce on everything, even the odd vegetarian burger. This was something else.”

The kitchen fell silent when the order came through. One chef took off his apron and went outside for a cigarette.

“I’ve been frying chips for 18 years,” he said. “You think you’ve seen everything. Then someone does this.”

Things got worse when the man turned down extra onion rings, saying he was trying to make healthier choices.

Management confirmed he finished the entire salad, cucumber included, with no visible sign of regret.

Psychologists say the case may be part of a growing trend among middle-aged South African men who discover vegetables shortly after a slightly worrying cholesterol result.

“There are usually other warning signs,” said one behavioural specialist. “They start talking about portion control, order sparkling water instead of Castle Lite, and insist that walking the golf course counts as exercise.”

Spur has assured customers the incident was isolated and that chips remain the default side for mentally stable South Africans. Several staff members have since gone for counselling.