PRETORIA — A South African study has found that 99% of biltong bought at butcheries never makes it home. Most of it is gone before the car leaves the parking lot.
Researchers followed 500 motorists from the till to their front doors and recorded how much dried meat they ate along the way.
‘The first piece usually goes before the driver starts the engine,’ said the lead researcher. ‘By the second robot, half the packet is gone.’
Men driving alone were found to be most at risk. Many arrived home holding an empty brown paper bag.
Participants mostly blamed traffic. Several also blamed the packaging.
One Pretoria man bought 500 grams and arrived home with 23. He gave it to his wife as a gift.
Researchers recommend buying double the amount needed. Early trials suggest this only doubles what gets eaten in the car.
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The Hadeda Heckler is a South African satirical news website. Some stories are invented, others are exaggerated and a few are disturbingly close to the truth. Any resemblance to actual government competence or the stupidity of the average man or woman is purely coincidental.
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